SciFi and Fantasy Stories
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'Bad Day'


 
 

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Click For MoreDocument 3 out of 19 by Logan Pickup.

SciFi and Fantasy Stories: Bad Day

Sometimes even a bad day can turn out alright.

    Main Category:   High Fantasy  

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Sarah Dean flew from the foxhole, lead fire-wasps screaming after her. She didn’t look back, but flew straight as an arrow out towards the shore of crystal waters, fire-wasps stinging her all the while with their molten tongues. She kept on flying only because the pain of the stings drowned out the complaints of her muscles, and she kept from crying out in pain only because she lacked the breath to do so. The blue sands of the beach were below her now, and she could see the waters had a thin layer of ice, freezing them into perfect calm. She flew on, and finally her wings would hold her no longer, and she plummeted from the sky and shattered the thin veil of ice, and plunged into the crystal water. Some of the lead fire-wasps followed, but after the rest saw their fellows solidify and freeze they left, and droned off angrily to find a new target.

Sarah Dean drifted slowly down, sunbeams glittering around her, catching the fragments of ice still floating up. There was brightness above, but the promise of pain there made Sarah Dean drift ever downwards instead, her silver feathered wings drifting around her, her body at peace. The crystal waters were salve for her wounds, for she thought not of them, but only listened to the song of the perfect clams, rising from the depths.

"Is it an angel?" Voices came to her from below. "Is it real? What is it?" Many questions, but she could see no-one to ask them. "An angel?" More voices. As Sarah Dean looked around, bemused, the water took shape beside her, to something long and wriggly, like an eel. "Are you an angel?" It asked her.
"Glub" She replied, bubbles coming from her mouth. She could not make herself heard down here.
"You must be an angel," the water avatar decided, "for you have the golden eyes of angels. Come stay with us for a while. Oh!" It said suddenly "You are hurt!" It found a hand and grabbed her by the arm, and dragged her off through the water.
"Glub." Sarah Dean said with a shrug.

She was taken to a place somewhere under the frozen ice where towers of crystal rose from the rocky floor. More water avatars floated around, taking all manner of shapes. It was very difficult to see them as they were made out of water, but Sarah Dean didn’t care, for they were not what held her attention anyway. The glorious crystal towers glowed with an inner light, each a different colour from the other. They stretched in tall, graceful loops, not bound by pragmatism or usefulness in any way, seeming to exist only for beauty’s sake. There was no pain anymore. Shadows drifted past now, ready to take her away from the light that had caused her such pain. She reached out to them with welcoming arms, they wrapped her in warmth and darkness. Sarah Dean looked once more with her beautiful golden eyes that burned always with life, and then she closed them, and like the sun setting they looked no more.

"Is it dead?" A water avatar asked. Sarah Dean floated, her eyes closed, her lips curved in a perfect smile, not moving a muscle. The question went unanswered. Soon the water avatars were still, and could not be seen anymore, and the only creatures that were able to observe the scene were the perfect clams, singing, as always, their one perfect note. The crystal towers grew and grew, and wrapped Sarah Dean in tender frozen tendrils, and still she did not move. The crystal towers stopped growing, but who knows what drives them.

And then, one by one, the perfect clams shut, each turning to stillness and silence, closing as Sarah Dean’s eyes had. The only moving things now were the gently dancing sunbeams, and even they moved slowly here. Whoever else may have been watching, and whoever else may yet come to watch, saw the sweet smile on Sarah Dean’s lips, and the perfect stillness of the water avatars and the perfect clams, and perhaps smiled too, and left that place of peace forever.

 
 

   © Logan Pickup. All rights reserved!

DateNameComment 
21 Jun 200245 Stephan P. Calloway
I agree - knowing your talent I bet the illustrations here would be fantastic. Have you posted them on your art pages? Then at least we could see them 2
Lot of strong emotion/feeling in this one - although I seem to be flooded by each of your pieces. Your art is the same way, I really should be jealous!

:-) Logan Pickup replies: "Actually, the illustrations are not up to the quality of my Loth stuff. That's the main reason I don't upload them there. I did them *really* quickly because I just *had* to illustrate this. If you really want to see them, follow the link to my homepage above to see the story complete with illustrations. And thank you for the comment about strong emotions, that's pretty much why I write, to get all that stuff out."
18 Jul 2002:-) Elizabeth 'SpaZ' Avent
Your pictures don't work. :-(

:-) Logan Pickup replies: "I know - I'm pretty sure it's a problem with the extranet, not me. I'm sure they'll work one day. The pictures are up on my homepage in the mean time."
23 Jul 2002:-) Jennifer Alice Peters
Quite amazing this piece is. It is so very different from most of what I've read, and on elfwood which is rarer yet. Talented you are. I'm glad you left your mark on my page so that I might have had the curiousity to glance at your work. Simply enchanting.

:-) Logan Pickup replies: "Tickled I am at such praise. Gracious you are."
19 Oct 2002:-) Tamara 'da dude' Davidson
*reads above comment and gets confussed due 2 lack of sleep* aaaaaaaannnnnyyyyhoooooo well im not much of a love story person if it is i kinda skimmd it cuz im sleepy but its pretty good!

:-) Logan Pickup replies: "Nope, not a love story. You'll have to skim better than that 2 Well, sleep well then."
22 Oct 2002:-) Tamara 'da dude' Davidson
*reads and laughs histerically* holy crap how tired was i!! Lol good story thow i like

:-) Logan Pickup replies: "Thanks! You like it and there's not even any blood... I'm shocked!"
24 Oct 200245 Lindy 'Shanra' Kuepers
*sigh* Why don't I have your talent? I love reading your stories. You have such a way with letting them end in a way you don't expect... This one is no exception, but it fits the story I think. (Just don't ask me to explain any 'why's, I'm no good at those.)

Anyway, this one is well written as always and I greatly enjoyed reading this. Makes me wonder actually when the last time I put reading over writing... Because I *know* I did when I started reading this story. (hey with word and tale I'm supposed to be working on open, it sort of has to be)
Which reminds me, I need to finally go do something more then have it open behind this window... *wants to finish commenting at least and realises that won't happen if she keeps on babbling* Uhm... well... where was I actually? Oh yes... I agree that I didn't need the pictures, as your words create a very clear picture as it is, but they certainly were a wonderful addition. They did add something special to the story (and yes the pics did download for me 12) *sighs* I wish I could create pictures for my stories.

:-) Logan Pickup replies: "The pictures are there!? *checks* Woohoo! You're right! They finally work! Eh, I should really do some better ones. Thanks you!"
2 Nov 2002:-) Tamara 'da dude' Davidson
Hey dont make fun of my gore lovingness!

:-) Logan Pickup replies: "When have I ever made fun of you? I'm a nice person. I wouldn't even dream of it. *evil grin*"
18 Aug 2003:-) Emily McDurman
Another really beautiful tale! How did you get the pictures in?? They're really good!! You can imagine the story, which is really... amazing. I like how you made the water avatar sort of... realistic. Wonderful.
14 Dec 200445 Kevin Heggie
Although I wasn't crazy for the story, (i dunno, i guess nothing can be perfect for everyone) your amazing writing skills brought this piece to a definite "A" rating. I love your descriptions, word choice, and the way the sentences seem to flow together. However I was a little confused at the beginning. For some reason I was troubled about who the flying girl was-: a fairy, a winged bird or monster, etc, but your writing was good enough for me to decide "ah it must be an angel" before I got to the picture or to the line where it is revealed. Also this is bothering me. Why was she getting attacked by the fire wasps? I'm not crazy for stories that leave so many questions at the beginning.
However, I did like the pictures. I felt that they added to the story, even though your writing provided the imagery that the pictures reinforced. I enjoyed your writing, and hope that you continue to produce such amazing works.
1 May 2006:-) Malin M. Larsson
This is the third wonderful idea I've read by you. 3 out of 3 - your record is getting better and better! I loved the idea and the very strange end (did she die?). And what was she? How can you be so cruel to leave us stranded here without all these fun details? Of course - it does make it a good story as one can't stop thinking on it.

hugs Tusenord

:-) Logan Pickup replies: "The story had ended, so I had to leave you stranded without those details! My opinion is that she is dead - I often associate peace and death, and it certainly is a peaceful ending - and that she wasn't an angel as most people would think of one, but looked very much like one. But then, what is my opinion? It matters more what the reader thinks.

Thanks for all your comments, too!"
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